Just over one year ago choke artist Lebron James ripped our collective Cleveland hearts out of our big, fat, unemployed chests when he uttered the now imfamous “taking (his) talents to South Beach” staging a public divorce from his hometown team (well, not really, I mean he grew up in Akron, not Cleveland but Akron doesn’t have an NBA team, so suck it) and the only team he had played for professionally (he probably got paid at SVSM, but semantics).

Cleveland went on to finish with the second worst record in the NBA but did manage to lock up two of the top four draft picks in the worst NBA draft in years. Typical.

While ‘The Decision’ was savaged by the media, including ESPN, the worldwide leader in sports is now sticking a small makeshift scarecrow outside of their hole to see if Elmer Fudd has left yet. They are now attempting to recast Lebron and ESPN’s collectively selfish, and transparent tv special as a noble, and selfless act.

Specifically, asshole Steve Wulf has told us to look past the words of one narcissistic athlete and the faces (and hearts) of the children whose lives he has improved with his selfish act.

They remember it differently.

You hear that you smug internet assholes!? These are children! Some possibly orphans (probably not).

As a result of the sponsorships for the show, and at the specific request of James, more than $2 million was donated to the organization. And the boys and girls at the club in Greenwich now have a new gym floor with the “Knuckles” logo, 30 new Hewlett-Packard computers (families without computers get the old ones), some fresh Nike equipment and — coming soon — a climbing wall.

That’s terrific but is this the South Bronx or a substantially wealthier New York City suburb?  Greenwich is the wealthiest place in the entire state of Connecticut. Thankfully, wealthy mommies and daddies can now feel just a little bit better shuttling their children to-and-from the Boys and Girls Club in their Bentleys and knowing that these kids will have access to all kinds of cool shit that was/is NOT AVAILABLE to 99.9 percent of other Boys and Girls Clubs anyway. That would just be too horrible to bear.

You may criticize “The Decision” as a TV show,

Why not? Everybody else did. And rightfully so! It was utter bullshit, and ESPN hid behind a children’s charity like it was a riot shield to attempt to scrub their actions.

and you may think James and the Heat got what they deserved in the NBA Finals.

That was great.

But please don’t subscribe to the cynical and glib notion that the leafy address somehow lessens the mission of the club. Children everywhere need a hand — and a place.

What ESPN and Lebron James may have done was reprehensible and contrived but don’t you dare try to criticize them for it! IT WAS FOR CHILDREN!!!! WHY DO YOU HATE CHILDREN!?

Wulf then borrows a page out of the mothership’s playbook and interviews some of the children from the Greenwich Boys and Girls club about ‘The Decision.’ This too, backfires.

What else do they recall about the day of The Decision?

Robby: “After the show, I had to go to the bathroom really badly. But LeBron was in there, and security wouldn’t let me go in.”

PISS YOUR PANTS, KID! THAT COCAINE ISN’T GOING TO SNORT ITSELF OFF THAT MODEL’s CHEST!

Gigi: “Why didn’t you go to the bathroom downstairs?”

Robby: “I wasn’t going to go down there. It’s haunted.”

James and Jim Gray may now be ghosts at the club,

BREAKING NEWS: CHILD POSSESSED BY POLTERGEIST DUE TO LEBRON.

WHAT!? You mean that Lebron just set up shop for his self-indulgent television special to honor himself and then took off for good?  I am shocked, just shocked!  Who knew that insulated, self-centered, spoiled millionaires would use people, including children like Klennexes?  Not I, dear readers.

If you only watched “The Decision” last July 8, you would think it was all about him.

It absolutely was.

if you saw the excitement over the new computers, or heard the squeak of sneakers on a shiny floor, or listened to the mixture of giggles and questions and wisdom, or observed the easy, respectful interaction between staff and kids, you might think differently.

Especially if ESPN signed your checks.

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