“You have three Super Bowl rings and a supermodel wife. What are you going do now, Tom Brady?”
“I’m going to endorse Uggs.”
Awkward silence
“But they’re for men.”
More silence
“They’re really comfortable?”
“I think we’re finished here.”

Far be it for anyone from the Deuce to lecture anyone on fashion but we feel safe saying that Uggs are some of the most worthless pieces of footwear known to man along with Crocs and Air Jesus (sorry, Birkenstocks). Now you can put a recognizable face to them as opposed to groups of chickenhead college girls as Tom Brady is endorsing Uggs for men.

That’s right. Now you can look like those girls or one of those emaciated, heroin addicted, STD cocktail infested Hollywood actress with absolutely no fashion sense.

The New England Patriot quarterback will be heading the company’s campaign for shoes, outerwear and accessories, according to an Ugg Australia press release.

“He embodies the stylish casual attitude that is at the foundation of every product we make, and is as much a style icon off the field as he is a playmaker on it,” said Deckers Outdoor Corp. Chairman and CEO Angel Martinez.

Deckers owns Uggs as well as such other outdoorsy brands as Teva and Simple.

How could we forget Tevas? They’re the Go-Bots of sandals. The off-brand Birkenstock. The Rusted Root to the Grateful Dead. Gisele should be proud of her man. He’s looking more like off-brand Justin Bieber every day and now he’s hawking unsafe shoes that one can only assume drops the IQ of any person who puts them on by at least 30 points.

As if this storyline has not played out enough already, Kenny Mayne is now chiming in to beat this dead horse further into the ground.  Its Tom Brady hair vs Justin Bieber’s hair on “The Mayne Event” on ESPN this Sunday.

Its almost as if Kenny Mayne is now getting segment tips from Rick Riley in order to sustain some amount of relevance these days. How old is this non-storyline?  I’d be remiss if I didn’t include this clip of the show, but really, this topic is so old I am wondering if anyone even cares at this point.

Give it a watch, its quick and surprisingly the most painful thing about it is that Bieber is actually a worse actor than Brady.  Shocking really since watching Tom Brady “act” will make you think Peyton Manning is friggin Russell Crowe on stage. Anyway, here you go: