Streakers better not think they’ll get the same treatment especially at a Turkish soccer game. Homeboy’s lucky those dogs aren’t Fenerbahce supporters.

The last time the Deuce took a sabbatical, Dolph Lundgren welcomed you back. It’s been over half a year since we last posted and we know you’ve been jonesing for some of the good shit. Well we’re back, lady and gentlemen. So without any further ado, we’ll let Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Pep Guardiola do the honors this time.

Sorry for the long absence but we needed to take some time off for life but luckily some of us realize that writing a half-ass blog is more fulfilling and time-wasting than “responsible” pursuits. Hopefully we’ll get back to posting on a semi-regular basis this week.

And as always your musical reference: I Know You Got Soul by Eric B and Rakim. Bonus Eric B for President!

Nike Italy dropped this excellent ad featuring Kobe Bryant and several Serie A stars. Liverpool reject Alberto Aquilani also makes an appearance. Pay it forward I guess.

Enzo G. Castellari, cult Italian director of 70′s exploitation movies, introduces us to a hidden treasure taken from his filmography, Milano Kalibro Kobe.

This commercial is screaming for a Materazzi head butt. Lotto wouldn’t have missed that.

I don’t know why, but there is something hypnotic about this video. Some geniuses at Robokeeper.com (the site is in German, at least until Google translated it for me) have developed a robotic goalie that you will never, ever, get a ball past.  Don’t believe me?  Well watch and be HYP-MO-TYZED like I was. I barely recovered quick enough to write up this blog post. Be thankful for that, i guess. Check it:

Whamp! Whamp! The U.S. women’s soccer team shit the bed against Japan in penalty kicks at the conclusion of the Fifa Women’s World Cup finals in Frankfurt, Germany, surely easing some of the hurt for the nation after the horrific Fukushima daichi nuclear disaster on March 11. Despite this loss, your humble correspondent is not upset by the result. After all, Japan is a terrific nation, with weird, Japanese animation porn, and samurai swords, not to mention sake, and I think robots. They need our support. What? Yes, of course I’ve been to Japan before! I don’t just write about things I know nothing about, you know!

I guess what I’m saying is, it’s just soccer, not a real sport. Women’s soccer at that.