Many of you probably didn’t know this, but MMA expert Turd Ferguson is also a political junkie.  It’s what he uses to relax when he needs to come down off his workout sessions with fellow Fight Club members.  Just don’t ask him about them.

From boxing legend Muhammad Ali to boxing sideshow Mike Tyson, fighters of both the sweet science and the octagon have long been entrusted with the freedom to say things that would would be frowned upon and even punished in other professional sports leagues (ahem, NFL), and not in a good way (like when you pick up a stray on West Hollywood with promises of showbiz fame).

Since UFC President Dana White puts his foot in his mouth as much as his roster (or maybe Rex Ryan) it is only fitting that he allows most of these comments to go unchecked.

Exhibit A: Recently, Jacob Volkmann, fresh off of a victory at UFC 125 over Antonio McKee, did not let the opportunity to level threats against his nation’s leader go to waste. In addition to combat sports, Volkmann is also a former fellow at the Heritage Foundation, or rather, he just wants to threaten a man who leads the most powerful military in the world. Ever.

Mr. Volkmann will now have 60 seconds to respond to the question:

“I went out there and the guy introduced himself and said he was from the Secret Service and he wanted to ask me some questions about UFC 125 and my quote. He said there were people calling in to D.C. telling them that somebody, me, was threatening the President.”

The Secret Service, which is sort of the D.C. version of the Crips, Bloods, MS-13, and the Westies all rolled into “The Expendables.”

“People were misunderstanding the point of view I was going for with the health care plan. That’s why they were getting so upset. I’m thinking about the provider, I’m a chiropractor, so I’m thinking about my point of view, not everyone getting insurance. They don’t have to worry about getting denied, which is good I guess, just not good for health care providers,” said Volkmann.

Volkmann’s definitely got more than a few supporters, including fellow-UFC fighter Brock Lesnar. I think the Republicans have their ticket!  Volkmann-Lesnar in ’12!!!!

In case you haven’t noticed, MMA has been in the headlines lately.  Expect a lot from our resident MMA-Expert Turd Ferguson in the coming days.  Here, T.F. weighs in on the rumored departure of former Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar.

In the 1980’s, professional wrestlers were real-life gladiators, confronting the dual challenges of vanishing scrotums and hairlines against the physical limitations of excessive weightlifting and zero cardio. On any given night, in arenas across the country, well-oiled hot dog-resembling hard bodies would collide for the coveted WWF championship; a gaudy belt that all but guaranteed its owner a bounty of lap dances and boilermakers in all the finest strip clubs and truck stops across the land. His likeness would also adorn only the dirtiest, sweatiest, and tightest cotton t-shirts that trailer-dwellers could purchase. Mock if you must, dear reader, but to the broad array of folks sustaining our mobile home industry, these athletes represented living gods.

Today, like most sports, pro wrestling has evolved. WrestleMania is now a bigger draw than ever, with cities bidding for the right to host it like those dudes in “Hostel.” Every spring, Vince “Clean living” McMahon throws a White Trash Woodstock extravaganza that’s nothing short of a GWAR concert. Please know that WrestleMania is oh, much more than merely a rite of passage for the flyover states, Tea Party activists, and Girls Gone Wild litigants; indeed, it’s more like a monster-truck rally rolled into a porn convention sprinkled with an Insane Clown Posse concert.