So Kimbo Slice is again reinventing himself. The one time backyard brawler superstar turned perennial MMA assault victim is now attempting to become a professional boxer. Slice’s first match was this past weekend against James Wade (0-1 career) at Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Okla and to no one’s surprise, Kimbo won.

You can actually watch the entirety of the fight below as it lasted just eleven seconds. Yeah, eleven seconds. Quality fight right there. I mean, c’mon, even Don King is shaking his head at this match-up.

Regardless, enjoy watching Kimbo attempt to regain some semblance of a career…at least until someone asserts some copyright claim on the video.

Here we were thinking Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr. didn’t want to fight Manny Pacquiao because of drug testing issues. All this time we find out he was just busy working on his Chris Brown impersonation by beating up his baby mama.

TMZ has footage of Mayweather’s ex, Josie Harris, being carted out of her house on a stretcher after he used her head as a punching bag.

She can be seen writhing on the stretcher and holding her head as she’s being wheeled away. Money was charged with felony coercion, grand larceny and robbery. He apparently flew into a rage over her dating C.J. Watson from the Chicago Bulls.

According to court documents posted on TMZ, Mayweather allegedly came into Harris’ Las Vegas home and began assaulting her and screamed “that he was going to kill me and my boyfriend and make sure we are taken care of,” Harris testified in court.

After the incident, one witness told TMZ that he was awakened around 5 a.m. after he heard “a blood-curdling scream that sounded like someone was being murdered” before he saw someone in front of the house and then two cars speeding away.

Someone needs to tell Money that he can’t use his baby mama as a sparring partner. If he wants to role play the Chris Brown/Rhianna incident, he really needs her to sign off on it and he should probably take it easy.

Seriously though, he needs someone to check his ass. This isn’t the first time he’s teed off on Harris. He’s also been filmed going off on a security guard who didn’t recognize him and going on a racist rant about Pacquiao. His apology was about as convincing as Chris Brown’s after making homophobic remarks and insulting molestation victims while beefing with Raz B beef. Weakest. Beef. Ever. Short of an ass-whupping, some jail time might do wonders for his attitude. Hell, he should just collaborate with Brown … on music.

It’s looking more and more like the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight everyone wants to see will never happen. Money seems to run into legal trouble no matter where he goes. How soon until he ends up broke and locked up like Mike Tyson? Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t appear as though he would have a rebirth like the former champ. Lucky for him, there are enough British tomato cans who still want to fight him. Bernard Hopkins made a career after prison. No reason he can’t do the same thing.

“Sir, some Manischewitz to go along with your pigeon steak?”

Who knew Mike Tyson was down with the kashrut? He’s come a long way from throwing down on Evander Holyfield’s ear which is definitely not kosher.

Tyson is allegedly in talks with Moshe Malamud, chairman of the Franklin Mint collectibles company, about opening a chain of high-end kosher restaurants. They recently met to discuss the idea at a New York restaurant.

The former champ, who was Muslim at last check, went vegan earlier this year. While it may not have “been long enough for [the] kind of Zen shit” that comes from vegan “explosions of energy”, Tyson swears he’s done eating meat.

Anyone who thinks Iron Mike can’t pull this venture off needs to kill that noise. Remember how he handled tea service?

Tyson does have a history of being taken for his money by business associates. He might want to watch Malamud. You’ve seen those Franklin Mint commercials. Would you trust anyone who sells a quarter for $2? No way, Jose. Expensive quarters and cannolis can step the fuck off like Gigantor.

H/T to Eater for the heads up.

Times are getting ill for Ricky Hatton. He’s taking a break from eating all the pies to return to the boxing ring. The News of the World (the newspaper equivalent of Media Takeout) reports that he renewed his boxing license with the British Boxing Board of Control.

Hatton, 32, who is now forging a successful career as a promoter has often hinted that he will not box again, but insisted: “I certainly haven’t announced my retirement and you never say never.”

“Floyd Mayweather Jnr was retired for two years not long ago and he made a successful comeback. It is only 14 months since I fought Manny.

Mayweather stayed in shape while he was out of the game. Hatton hasn’t fought since Manny Pacquiao beat him like a rented mule in 2009. He has to be pushing something like 230 pounds these days. However he’s known for packing on the pounds then dropping to the necessary weight before a fight. He hasn’t gotten any faster or stronger since his last fight. Just ask Charles Barkley what he thinks about these types of comebacks.

The former champ’s beloved Manchester City might be causing him to put on his gloves again. The club raised the luxury box prices by 11,000 pounds. Hatton and his friends are being forced to give up their box and sit in the stands with the common folk. Soon the Gallagher brothers won’t want to be seen with him anymore. They have a reputation to maintain.

At least we know how Floyd Jr. keeps himself busy when not running from Manny Pacquiao

Everyone knows Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr. is a bit off but no one should blame him for it. It obviously comes from his father.

Floyd Mayweather Sr. went off on Manny Pacquiao during an On The Ropes Radio interview earlier this month.

“I’d tell him he’s a faggot,” Floyd Sr. said, when asked what he would say to Pacquiao face to face, if given the chance. “That’s what I’d tell him. I’d tell him he ain’t nothing but a little sissy; a little girl.”

“The only thing they’re trying to do is to switch this around and make it look like it’s my son that’s scared,” Mayweather Sr. continued. “He ain’t the one that’s scared. I know who’s scared.”

Mayweather Sr. didn’t stop there. He decided to go full Mel Gibson.

“My problem is, Bob Arum don’t call no [expletive] shots,” he said. “The fight can be made anytime they want the fight to be made. ‘Little Floyd’ definitely ain’t scared of no Pacquiao. That’s the last thing in the world that little Floyd is scared of—a little Filipino midget. Definitely that’s not the case.”

Money’s father ranted about Arum backing Pacquiao because he represents him and how his son should get more money because…well I don’t really get it.

There’s also something about drug testing and Miguel Cotto in there. However there’s no mention of how Pacquiao would fight Cotto because his son won’t agree to the fight even though Pacquiao agreed to Olympic-level blood testing.

Still haven’t seen boxing embarass itself enough? Here’s Danny Green vs. Paul Briggs from Australia. 30 seconds of the sweet science at its finest. Stick around for the post-fight interview.

Don’t try to tell me Don King wasn’t in the house that night.