Isiah “J.R.” Rider ain’t goin’ out like so many other temperamental NBA busts. Marc J. Spears of Yahoo Sports recently wrote a piece on Rider’s attempt at redemption in the ABA. It’s been a long fall from being the fifth overall pick in the 1993 NBA draft. There’s no need to rehash the work of an actual journalist. Here’s the link to the article which is worth checking out.

The only thing that has us going is the North Texas Fresh logo. My. Gawd. It is brilliant. Nothing says fresh like a gangster suit from the 1930s. Nothing stays fresh like a monkey in said suit. How could Rider want to leave a team with a tight logo like this? There’s nowhere to go but down. I’m a Wizards fan (ignoring my better judgment) but that logo and mascot are busted. Bullets yes. Wizards hell naw. Even worse he could go to a team like the Magic or Thunder. What is this? The WNBA? One can only hope that the Fresh’s mascot is a monkey in a gangster suit that patrols the floor and stands with a tommy gun and refers to ladies as “dame” or “toots”. You’ll never catch me copper, see?

Rider could also start dropping Isiah from official use. Any tie, relation or similarity to Isiah Thomas will do nothing for his reputation. Go FIU! It won’t be long before they drop the I and Fucked Up goes after the university for defamation.

Are monkeys smarter than humans? They’re definitely smarter than Rae Carruth. You’ll never see a monkey hide from the authorities in his car trunk or fake his own death. A feces-throwing rhesus monkey is on the lam and is daring the authorities to catch him.

Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

The monkey must have been trained by Morpheus or Chiun. It’s going to take an Agent Smith type to slow him down. A posse comitatus at the very least. This monkey won’t take himself down with his own feces like one Plaxico Burress. Ride like the wind to be free again, Rhesus. Make it to the border of Mexico where sweet freedom awaits you.

If there’s one thing you can be sure of, it’s that a barrel of monkeys is always a good time but a night at the Monkey Barrel is always sure to lead to trouble. Just ask the Salisbury State football team.

Several players including one called Gooch were arrested after a brawl at the Monkey Barrel. The five players were picking fights with people in the bar all night and when the cops finally arrived, there were “several fights in the parking lot and one of the players, Justin Sykes, 22, hit an officer as he was being arrested”.

If the bar actually had a barrel of monkeys to sic on the football players when trouble started, this whole situation could have been avoided and the bar patrons could have been entertained by a chimpdown of epic proportions. Chimptastic.

Cohagen, give dees monkeys their rights!

LiveLeak has an inside look at one of the acts from this summer’s Beijing Olympics opening ceremonies.

Looks Señor Spielbergo (Steven Spielberg’s Mexican equivalent) is sparing no expense.