I sure as heck didn’t realize that the MLB season started yesterday, did you?  Well it did…for two teams at least. To my surprise, yesterday, when I was clicking around the interwebs, I saw a box score showing that Seattle beat Oakland, 3-1, and now is the only team in baseball with a win because that game was a regular season game. Like a full on regular season win. In March.

What?

Oh, see, Bud Selig, in all his genius,  thought that this year would be the fourth time in history that the Major League Baseball season should open up in Japan. They call the series the “Season Opener” (not exactly the same ring as Opening Day but who am I to complain, huh?) and the first game wasn’t even nationally televised, unless you count MLB’s own cable network MLBN if you happened to be lucky enough to have it and to be able to skip work and tune in at 9am on Wednesday. To be honest, i’m not even sure if they advertised this game anywhere because I sure as heck didn’t see anything for it.

I mean, I am all for spreading the game of baseball around the world and yes, the Mariners are owned by a Japanese company (Nintendo) but c’mon, shouldn’t the first game of the 2012 season have a little bit of fanfare  and especially be in its country of origin? ESPN’s own website still has a countdown to MLB’s Opening Day for crying out loud.  How can we have Opening Day now that the season is already WIDE FRIGGIN OPEN? No other American sport starts its season out this way and I would venture to say there is a BIG reason for that…because it is stupid.

Oh and what else makes little sense about this series? The games are considered home games for Oakland, aka “The team not owned by a Japanese corporation“, aka “The team  no one in the crowd is rooting for because they are not owned by a Japanese corporation and are without a national hero in Ichiro that the entire crowd loves and reveres“,  meaning they lose two home games in Oakland this season.

Yeah that is fair, huh? Couldn’t make this imaginary home series for Oakland an imaginary home and away series for both teams? Just to even things out a little? Just a little?  No, no of course not, that would make WAY too much sense.

Then again, I don’t often expect MLB to make much sense anymore…I mean home field advantage is still tied to a stupid All-Star game.  Ugh.  Now, there is a whole other rant…

Inside the park home runs are not a common occurrance in Major League Baseball and Milwaukee Brewers’ outfielder Ryan Braun was ohhhhhhh so close to getting his very first one. He could’ve had it quite easily actually, but for the little tumble you are about to see Braun take after he rounds third and attempts to make his way home. Poor guy, I would almost feel bad for him if I wasn’t laughing so hard right now.

To add insult to injury, the Brewers lost the game to the St. Louis Cardinals by a score of 8-3.

Random sports trivia while we’re talking about inside the park home runs, who is the MLB leader in inside the park home runs? A player named Jesse Burkett with 55 inside the park home runs. Burkett played for the Giants, Spiders, Perfectos, Cardinals, Browns and, his last team, the Boston Americans from 1890-1905. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1946.  Ty Cobb and Honus Wagner are both tied for 3rd with 46 inside the parkers. Honestly, no one on the list of top 25 inside the park home run hitters was born in the 1900s. Lost art I guess…or fielding has gotten a LOT better these days.

Trivia from Baseball-Almanac.com

Baseball great Barry Bonds is an asshole. Nobody denies that. But he has also hit more home runs then any player in MLB history. From 1999-2004 a Barry Bonds at-bat was the greatest thing to witness in sports. It sucks that so many ball players took the juice to shoot up their stats and make tons of money but if everybody else is ignoring the speed limit on the highway then what are you supposed to do?

If you agree with anything I just wrote, then you might be Greg Anderson. He just went back to prison. For the fourth time. Fourteen months in total. Seriously. This guy has been to prison more then Tony Yayo (best I could do).

Stick me fast and let’s go do some BP, ESPN:

Anderson repeated his long-standing refusal to testify against his childhood friend, was held in civil contempt by Illston, taken into custody by U.S. Marshals and escorted out a back door. This will be his fourth time in prison, his third for refusing to testify against Bonds, and he will likely be held until the end of the trial. The case is expected to last about a month.

Anderson also served three months in prison and three months in home confinement for money laundering and steroids distribution from the original BALCO case. Anderson’s plea in that instance happened in 2005. Bonds’ trial is the last to stem from the BALCO investigation.

Somebody is getting a christmas syringe card from the Bonds household this holiday season.

A couple weeks ago the Washington Nationals put out a list of the top “81 Ways To Use Your Season Tickets” for its fans. Now, call me crazy, but I thought there was really only a couple ways to use your tickets, sell them or use them yourself. Luckily the Nationals were there to tell me that, no, there are other ways that one can use their Nationals season tickets.

The remarkable thing about this list is that there are at least 20 suggestions they offer up that involve you not going to the game.  The team itself is saying “give these tickets away that you paid your hard earned dollars for”!!

Lets take a look at some of the best suggestions.

81. Offer them to your neighbor who takes in your mail while you are on vacation

80. Show your mail carrier you appreciate him or her

79. Get in good with your in-laws

76. Give your tickets to a youth team

75. Give them to a prospective employee who is interviewing from out of town

Right away, five of the first seven suggestions they give the fans are to give away their tickets and make some poor neighbor that cant afford a vacation or a poor mailman or your old ass inlaws or some kids or an unemployed bastard your tickets.  So there you have it Nats fans.  These will be  your demographics for the stands this year: Old people, kids, the unemployed and/or poor and underemployed people.  Sounds like a rollicking good time, what say you chap?  Lets continue. Read the rest of this entry

Last night Cliff Lee won the game for the Texas Rangers, silencing the Yankee’s bats to the tune of a 13 K shutout for the Rangers’ 8-0 victory.  I don’t feel too bad for the Yankees organization though, while the team isn’t currently winning on the field, they are winning at the cash register. The Yankees have come across one of the greatest merchandising schemes ever…selling dirt from the old Yankee Stadium.

No, we’re not just talking about the dirt around the base paths, I’m talking dirt dug up from the outfield, infield, batting box and up to two feet down before the stadium was demolished. We all know no Yankee ever set foot on that dirt if it was two feet down, but apparently dirt collectors don’t give a damn. In total, they dug up three tons of dirt. Egad.

What have they done with the dirt do you ask?  Well half of it has been used for over $10 million in collectible items such as:

* Key chains that go for $20 each.

* Posters commemorating the nine championships the team won in their former home. They sell for $150 each.

* Special player posters whose price depends on the player. Derek Jeter is the most expensive at $80

* Player plaques showing Yankee stars’ stats and biggest moments. They sell for $50 to $60

* Crystal paperweights engraved with milestone dates.

* Team-signed balls with an order of dirt on the side, selling for $60.

I mean its cool that they will sell it along with signed balls but a $20 key chain??  Look at that poster, would you pay $30 for that?  The Yankees have actually made dirt a valuable commodity…and they have THREE TONS OF IT.  Well, actually they sold off 1 1/2 tons, but they have actually saved up the other half of it in barrels for future use (sales).

I’d love to know exactly how much dirt is in these items to figure out the exact value of the dirt. Silver is a little over $24 an ounce, I’d bet this dirt is near that in value. Just think about that. Dirt that is as valuable as silver. Hold on, I just threw up in my mouth a little. Ok, I’m good.

Like fine wine, this dirt will only get better and more valuable with age.  Get your dirt while you can. In the meantime, it looks as if the Yankees will have a little bit more money to throw around free agency than they would’ve normally had.

So don’t feel too bad for their loss last night, they can afford to go out and buy Lee next year and have him do to someone else what he did to them…partially thanks to Yankee dirt.