The scourge of the skies will harass you no longer thanks to some sweet ass American justice. Veteran flight attendants will tell trainees the story of David Cornacchia to scare the shit out of them. Kind of like how people scare Robin Williams with stories about bathing. Too dated?

Cornacchia, a hockey player for the ECHL Florida Everblades, was a terror on minor league ice as well as in the sky. He was sentenced to one year and one day in federal prison in addition to other penalties such as a fine and mandatory anger management and substance abuse programs. What brought this on? Going apeshit on a flight from Toronto to Dallas in late December 2007. Mr. Prosecutor?

“Several times requested more alcohol … slapped male flight attendant with open hand … put in plastic restraints … exposed genitals in an apparent attempt to urinate … head-butted the assisting passenger … captain requested emergency approach to Dallas-Fort Worth airport.”

The judge was horrified by the incident and agreed with the prosecution that the sentencing guidelines should be changed from the recommended six months or less to 18-24 months.

Cornacchia was given a chance to speak before his sentencing.

“At no time during that flight did I mean to hurt anybody … I harmed mostly myself, obviously,” Cornacchia said. “I haven’t been drinkin’ for seven months here, and I just want to move on with my life and try to keep playing hockey.”

No whistle, no penalty? The slap and headbutt are minors at the very least, homey. Remorse like that shouldn’t be kept behind bars. Give him free like that guy from Amistad.

The soon-to-be Cornholio’s incarceration leaves the Everblades with seven players. Don’t wait up for that line change, boys. You got as much chance of that as Dave Coulier does of being funny.

The Portland Winterhawks, a Western Hockey League team, have made history on the ice in a new fashion. The have set a record for most stuffed animals thrown on the ice. The fans at the arena threw a reported 20,372 stuffed animals onto the rink after what they thought was their first goal of the season. Sadly, the goal was disallowed. The great news is those 20,372 stuffed toys are all being donated to charity for the team’s 10th Annual Teddy Bear toss. Just a nice feel good story for you all. Here’s the video of the bears getting thrown. Enjoy