What is it with racing bosses and their obsession with Nazis? FIA head Max Mosley was videotaped in a Nazi themed orgy with five hookers last year. He was seen “giving orders in German as he [lashed] girls wearing mock death camp uniforms and [was] himself whipped until he bleeds”. Oh his dad happened to be Oswald Mosley, a fascist who was down with Adolf Hitler.

Enter F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone. Bernie, who’s good friends with Mosley, goosestepped in it when he praised Hitler as a leader who “got things done”. He also claimed that the dictator was “persuaded to do things that I have no idea whether he wanted to or not”.

Ecclestone’s comments didn’t go over too well as one might imagine. When informed that the World Jewish Congress didn’t appreciate the Nazi love and wants him to resign, he manned up and doubled down.

‘It’s a pity [the World Jewish Congress] didn’t sort the banks out,’ he said. ‘ When asked to elaborate he countered: ‘ They have a lot of influence everywhere.’

Ist sie nicht wunderbar, Bernie. He finally issued an apology three days after his interview with the Times of London. Make of it what you will.

He insisted ‘things were taken a little bit wrong’ and his praise of the German tyrant was ‘not what he meant’ before adding: ‘Those who don’t know me think I support Hitler’s atrocities; those who do know me have told me how unwise I was to articulate my points so badly that it should have been so widely misunderstood.

‘During the 1930s Germany was facing an economic crisis but Hitler was able to rebuild the economy, building the autobahns and German industry.

‘That was all I meant when I referred to him getting things done.

‘I’m an admirer of good leadership, of politicians who stand by their convictions and tell the voters the truth.

The billionaire went on to praise Hitler again for turning a bankrupt country into a strong one and showing what someone can do if they “have the power and don’t have to keep back and referring every five minutes”. Bernie says compromise is for bitches. He then went on to say his boy Max Mosley would do a “super job” as prime minister. Yeesh. Who knew the Fourth Reich would start in auto racing?

Bleeding from the ass? That’s a scandal. He should have stopped at 14 “beatings from the cane“.

Being a British secret agent? Priceless. Losing your job because your wife was one of the prostitutes involved in the Max Mosley nazi sex orgy? Nah, that’s priceless.

In an extraordinary turn of events yesterday, MI5 was forced to deny through Whitehall channels that the orgy had been a “sting” that it had set up to discredit Mosley. “Any suggestion that the service was involved in setting up Mosley is total nonsense,” a senior Whitehall official said.

The official did disclose, however, that one of MI5’s officers had left the agency after his wife’s involvement as a call girl in the orgy became known. “I cannot talk about individual cases, but we do expect high standards of behaviour from all staff at all times, both professionally and privately,” the official said.

The officer forced to resign was working in surveillance. How the hell do you miss seeing this? The MI5 officer’s wife Mistress Abi was the one that sold the story to the News of the World.

Mosley is the current head of F1 racing and was caught on tape engaging in an orgy with a Nazi theme. His father was a well known facsist in the 30s and 40s who witnessed Adolf Hitler’s wedding in addition to heading up a fascist party in Britain.

Straight cash homey.

Good thing F1 boss and sexual holocauster Max Mosley doesn’t own Chelsea. He would most certainly deal with defender Tal Ben Haim in a harsh manner.

Ben Haim put keeper Petr Cech out for the season after running into Cech’s face with his cleats during training on Sunday. The cleats caused a laceration straight to Cech’s jawbone. He received “30 stitches sewn in the deepest area of the wound that stretches from his bottom lip to his chin, a further 20 on the outside of his face and also required plastic surgery ‘for aesthetic reasons’.

The collision was an accident but nonetheless puts Chelsea in the position of having one legitimate keeper coming into the Premiership and CL homestretches. All we need is for something to happen to backup keeper Carlo Cudicini and we could have a repeat of last season. If Ben Haim insists on being slow and useless, the least he could do is not injure his own teammates.

Speaking of Herr Mosley, his weak pleas that his Nazi orgy had nothing to do with Nazis have been bukkaked back in his face. Wunderbar! One of the hookers who participated in the orgy reported by News of the World claims that he ordered the Nazi orgy by name. “Max KNEW last week’s orgy was to have a Nazi theme—he ORDERED it!”

“We were only following orders,” said [News of the World's] informant, who does not wish to be identified. but admits she was one of five prostitutes who turned up at Mosley’s Chelsea dungeon at 11.30am on Friday, March 28.

“Max told Mistress Switch that he wanted a German dominatrix and she got one—Mistress Zena. She’s German and wore a German military uniform. Then Mistress Abi was booked and had to be in German uniform, too—a German Luftwaffe tunic. All the outfits come from army surplus stores.

…”And I was told to expect a very strong Nazi theme, including demeaning body inspections, brutality and that two submissive girls, called Leah and JD, must play the parts of camp inmates.

One has to appreciate that the ho used the Nuremberg defense. Daniel Day-Lewis would be proud. Never break character.

It’s easy to see why one would mistake the events that took place for a Nazi-themed orgy. Apologies due to Herr Mosley. His papers seem to be in order.