Our boy, ‘Toine Walker finally got a plan together to pay back the various casinos that he owes over $770k because he failed to pay back a bunch of casino markers. With fines and restitution added, Walker has to pay up to the tune of just over $900,000. Ouch! That’s gotta be tough for a man with no job. He must pony up about $13,000 a month minimum at first and if he ever gets a basketball gig in the NBA or Europe he must pay a minimum of just over $21,000 a month. Double ouch! To use Antoine’s words:
“I’ve made some mistakes with some finances,
With the luck that Iverson has had finding a job this year, I’m sure that ‘Toine will have no problem getting a job. Everyone wants a me first, shoot first, out of shape, 33 year old forward on their roster. Well, maybe not here, but Europe might be calling, I mean he averaged 8.5 ppg last year in the NBA, that is like at least 13ppg there in Europe easy. He’d better get a job quick because the judge in this case, Melanie Andress-Tobiasson (right), apparently has no tolerance for any sort of shenanigans with his payments:
“I can tell you at the point he stops making payments, I will bind him up so fast it’ll make your head spin,”
This is just further proof that former Buffalo Bill J.P. Losman can’t cut it in the NFL right here. The rumors were true, instead of holding out for a backup QB position in the big leagues, Losman has decided to sign with the Las Vegas UFL team coached by Jim Fassel. Here’s his quote from the Seattle P.I.:
“I have followed J.P.’s career since his early days with Buffalo, where he impressed me with his raw talent, passing accuracy and on-field competitiveness,” Fassel said. “J.P. has all the attributes of a great professional quarterback, and I am truly looking forward to working with him.”
See how Fassel didnt say that he actually was a great quarterback, just that he had talent and attributes of a great quarterback? Pretty good with the words he is, also, pretty easy to be accurate when you havent thrown more than 200 balls in each of the last 2 years. Although I dunno what other attributes of a great QB he has other than actually being a quarterback. Fassel must have some keen eye that I don’t have…which is why he’s coaching in the UFL and not me I guess. Finally, you laugh like a damn girl JP! A GIRL! Ahem…well its true.
When Media Takeout reports a story, you know you’re going to need at least five more sources before you believe it. I couldn’t find a second but I’ll go with it anyway. The potential of it being true is too good to pass up. Who’s the journalist?
MTO claims that Floyd Mayweather Jr. (aka Money - Language probably NSFW) was knocked out by former sparring partner Edner “Cherry Bomb” Cherry. We’re not even going to touch that nickname. A dispute over back pay at a Las Vegas club escalated into a fight that resulted in Money being laid out.
I imagine the fight went down a little something like the following (except the roles were reversed):
If this story is true, Money better get back in the gym and fast. Everyone’s going to take him on. I might think about stepping to him in a couple weeks if he’s not careful. I’ll probably cry after thinking about it but that don’t mean I ain’t no man.
The well has officially run dry for new ideas for musical theater when someone has come up with a musical about a poker tournament as a legitimate idea for a Las Vegas production. All In: The Poker Musical is a play about 9 people at the final table of the World Series of poker who come from all walks of life and “sing songs that are chock full with double entendres, poker analogies, quotes, lingo, and suggestive situations that also apply to the game of life and the cards we are all dealt.” Man, this sounds like a blast, huh?
“Through the lyrics of the songs and style of music, we see not only who these final nine players are, but we are able to see ourselves, our families, and our world,” said Phil Hellmuth.
Right…man that makes me really want to see this. Does this mean that SUPER BOWL: The MUSICAL is like right around the corner? What depraved soul would want to see a musical about people playing cards? The only thing that is somewhat intriguing about it is that it might be MORE interesting to watch people playing cards if there is a whole bunch of singing and dancing going on…might…very very very strong emphasis on the word MIGHT there. Let’s not forget that.
Tickets are $30-$50 and you can see it starting July 4th at the Rio. If you do, I want a full review. I’ll give you a free DVD which won’t offset the cost of the tix or the loss of a piece of your soul, but at least you can watch Tony Hawk do some crazy ass tricks. It has to be at least a couple words and cannot be “THIS PLAY SUCKS” over and over, I already know that is true.
Oh, and yes, I know this post has nothing to do with Jennifer Tilly’s melons…but who wouldn’t want to go all in there huh? I mean, am I right or am I right?
“That’s free money,” the 30-year-old Judah said Monday at a news conference to publicize the fight. “If he’s so confident and so much in shape, then why didn’t he take it? The last time I put a $100,000 bet on the table was against Corey Spinks. What did I do? I knocked him out.”
Apparently Judah doesn’t remember what happened to him when he fought Kostya Tszyu. He ended up taking on the ref because he was the only guy in the ring he had a chance of beating. Tszyu wrecked him in the second round of that fight. Mosley and Tszyu are no Corey Spinks.
Judah has to be one of the most frustrating fighters in recent history. He undoubtedly has the talent to be one of the best but he’d rather party and talk shit than work. That will be his undoing and he’ll end up sliding into the large group of boxers filed under “Who the hell was the guy?” despite rolling with H.O.V.A.
In the UK a man wagered 1 dollar and won 2 million dollars. You have to love this story. This guy, who at present wishes to remain unknown, wagered the correct winner of 8 different races on the Friday horse races, he bet 1 dollar to win 2 million and hit the biggest parlay I’ve ever heard of. The first horse that won was named “Isn’t That Lucky” and the last was “A Dream Come True”. The best thing is, he didn’t even know he won the next day because he was back at it on Saturday making more crazy parlays…where he didn’t win a single won, losing $5.
I gotta start hitting the track more and trying this. Sure the odds are against you, but they have to be better than Powerball or Keno. Perhaps i’ll try this when I go to Vegas in April. Ohhh yea.
The World Series of Beer Pong is currently underway in Las Vegas at the South Point Casino. You can read all about some of the goings on from the first day here in the blog of a guy named “The Champ” from the team Saddam’s Model Home, a wonderful pull from the now cancelled but never forgotten Arrested Development.
There are 295 other poorly wittily named teams participating this year with 16 teams currently tied for first place with records of 6-0 after the first day of competition. Two more days of this contest are left for one team to win the $50,000 first place prize.
Everyone loves a good drinking game and even if this does have the possibility of being the worlds biggest frat party I cannot help but wish I and all of the Deuce members could be out there with them drinking beer for the chance to win money. Ladies and gentlemen, what the fuck is more American than that?
I love these clips of OJ Simpson’s attorney just constantly getting interrupted by the toothless guy to his left. His facial expressions and interruptions are priceless. He acts like he must be the president of the OJ Simpson fan club. Just hilarious. Fan IQ has the dirt on him “The man standing behind Yale Galanter, O.J. Simpson’s lawyer, is Jake Byrd, a comedian who can sometimes be seen on Bill Simmons’ friend Jimmy’s television show (that would be Jimmy Kimmel Live).” Fantastic!
Kobe got what you need. $21,000 of Cristal to be exact. TMZ reports that Kobe Bryant ran up a $21,000 tab at the BLUSH Boutique in Vegas Friday night. He saw poker player Antonio “The Magician” Esfandiari buy two bottles of $1400 Cristal and decided to one up him by throwing down for five bottles. The Magician responded with 10 bottles. Kobe wasn’t going to be shown up for the bitch he is when it comes to trade talk. He threw down for 15 bottles and left the club.
I can’t imagine Kobe cheated on the whole crowd that night and was trying to make it up to them Nessa-style. Maybe he thought he would do what Shaq does for a change. Maybe he figured he could beat a poker player since he can’t beat Lakers management.
As the football season winds down in Europe, we wonder what we’re going to do during the offseason besides join in the absurd rumormongering that goes on in the European press. You can expect nothing less from us. Here’s hoping that overpaid, under-educated footballers will get themselves in stupid, embarrassing situations for our amusement.
Get Out Of My Belly It looks like the pressure’s getting to Fat Freddy Shepherd. Every good thing that happens to Newcastle seems to be followed by a corresponding cockpunch and twist. Every big name signing seems to drop as though Screwface put some bad mojo on them. The casualty list topped by Obafemi Martins, Michael Owen, Damien Duff and Scott Parker is rather impressive. Shepherd met with former Bolton manager Big Sam Allardyce at Claridge’s in London yesterday. Allegedly an offer to manage Newcastle was made and accepted with some details yet to be worked out. Both sides agreed that they were close to an agreement that would have Big Sam take over the “big club” otherwise known as Newcastle United.
Once Shepherd has his man, he can return his focus to Owen who has a £9million buyout clause in his contract. It’s rumored that he wants a return to Liverpool which he left to win silverware. he hasn’t won anything while Liverpool has won the Champions League and FA Cup. Shepherd isn’t too pleased about this especially as the club has stood by him through all his injury problems.
If you didn’t hear Shepherd’s response, he said, “I’ll fucking carry him back for you…for £9million”. Solid Freddy solid. Good to see he has a sense of humor about the situation.
Noting the lack of redheads on Jose Mourinho’s squad, Chelsea is close to signing Reading midfielder Steve Sidwell. Sidwell is scheduled to undergo a medical on Monday at Stamford Bridge and is being held out of Reading’s final match against Blackburn tomorrow.
United Shame English Football With Weak Celebration
By the hammer of Thor, has football come to this? Gazza’s liver must be turning in his torso.
Manchester United players celebrated their one-year Premiership trophy loan deal by going out on the town and running up a bar tab of….wait for it…£8,500. Most of it went towards Cristal.
Some players carried on the party at striker Wayne Rooney’s mansion in Prestbury, Cheshire.
A source said: “The lads had a great time - and even let some of the local girls join the party and enjoy the champers.”
Champers?? What the fuck? Then again, they do carry manbags. No debauchery? No fights? No making it rain?
Maybe they took it easy because they didn’t want to get whiskey dick before roasting the over-50 local girls Rooney invited back to his crib.
The Las Vegas Sun reports that the Las Vegas Sports and Entertainment Group is trying to bring an MLS franchise to Vegas by 2010. The group “hopes to build a high-tech, state-of-the-art stadium with a retractable roof that will be linked with a casino.”
The group would ask for no public financing and the stadium would be available for other uses besides soccer.
There’s no team name but the name “Silver Spurs” is being tossed around like a dwarf. No team should have anything in common with Tottenham Hotspur. The Deuce suggests the name Hustlers. It works on so many (two) levels.
By the way, does anyone know where we can find Player’s Club cards? We’ve looked everywhere.
Our boy, ‘Toine Walker finally got a plan together to pay back the various casinos that he owes over $770k because he failed to pay back a bunch of casino markers. With fines and restitution added, Walker has to pay up to the tune of just over $900,000. Ouch! That’s gotta be tough for a man with no job. He must pony up about $13,000 a month minimum at first and if he ever gets a basketball gig in the NBA or Europe he must pay a minimum of just over $21,000 a month. Double ouch! To use Antoine’s words:
