I haven’t had any interest in watching Dancing with the Stars. The only times I’ve been seen it are when I’ve been forced to watch it by a significant other or my mom. Don’t tell me I don’t understand Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib detainees. I feel their pain like one of the Crimson Twins. I was willing to sell my family and friends up the river for a reprieve after only a few minutes. All that being said, my attitude could change towards the show if reports about next season come to fruition.

TMZ is reporting that DWTS is in negotiations with the former Ron Artest to appear on the show this upcoming season.

Nothing’s official yet — but sources tell us, both Artest and “Dancing” producers have been in touch to hash out a possible deal … and Ron’s pretty excited about the prospect.

But here’s the catch — “Dancing” won’t end ’til November and basketball season typically starts in October … which means if the lockout ends early, Ron could be S.O.L.

That said, Ron could theoretically handle both commitments simultaneously — because as TMZ first reported, “Dancing” producers are desperate for A-list talent … so there will be NO minimum rehearsal requirement next season.

Oh please let this happen. Artest may have changed his name to Metta World Peace but don’t act like you couldn’t see him blowing up over a low score from one of the judges. How long into the season would we have to wait until stories start coming out about him texting pictures of his dick to his dance partner?

Who’s going to tell Artest that’s not a dance move? Will he insist that they dance to one of his own tracks?

Hines Ward had Jerome Bettis or Franco Harris present to cheer him on. I don’t even know which one was be there. Artest would find some crazy fool to represent for him. I’d love to see a chimp in a Lakers jersey and Rec-Specs (shout out to Rambis) in the crowd every week. Maybe AC Green could show up and sit uncomfortably while the couples grind up on each other. You gotta feel sorry for his wife. His load probably blew her back out after being pent up for so long. She’s probably in physical therapy to this day.

Anyway, Artest on DWTS needs to happen. They might want to continue with the crazy and think bigger. Imagine deposed dictators as contestants. Too bad Saddam Hussein and Idi Amin are dead. They would be perfect. Warlords would make for great viewing. Some former Congolese rebel leader who eats chimps and people or a former Serbian general would liven things up. Don’t waste your time contacting your Congressperson about the debt ceiling. They’re all assclowns and you know it. Phone, email, fax or carrier raven ABC and tell them to get on board with this hotness.

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