When Tiki Barber walked away from the NFL in 2006 after leaking that he was retiring in the middle of the season he made sure to piss everybody off on the way out. He burned his former quarterback, and his head coach, he burned fantasy owners by always having his biggest games when it didn’t count, and finally he pissed off Oprah fans nationwide when he ditched his eight months pregnant wife for a 23-year-old intern (Editor’s note: Nobody likes fat chicks). Well, the Giants went on to pull off one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl History and Tiki’s wife is (probably) co-signed on a house payment, a car note, and a stroller that is worth then my entire Amazing Spiderman collection. At least the fans haven’t given up on Tiki, oh wait, nevermind.

Barber also seemed to exude the attitude that he was just too talented to be limited to the NFL. I guess yukking it up with Al Roker on NBC’s Today is tougher then it looks because Tiki’s broadcasting career is more dried up then Madonna’s you-know-what (family friendly website here!) and it’s time for this unloved, unmissed, and unwanted has-been to get back to his reliable gravy train.

That’s going on around the country, here’s what’s happening in your neck of the woods, ESPN:

“After seeing my brother still have fun at our age, it reignited the fire,” Tiki Barber said, according to FoxSports.com. “I’m really looking forward to the challenge of seeing if I can get back to the level of where I was. I started working out again recently. It kind of shocked myself. I still had a lot of the strength I had before. I’m really looking forward to making a return.”

Translation: My wife and side piece are draining me like Bill on True Blood. Daddy needs ends or else snowflake moves back in with Jorge Posada and I start erupting into Kleenexes.

Barber is 35, and has been gone for four years. Returns to professional football generally tend to go great, particularly for running backs so whoever signs Barber should start stocking their locker room with champagne for when the Super Bowl resumes in 2099.

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