The World is Your Oyster Albert Haynesworth

When we last left Washington Redskins defensive Jabba the Hut Albert Haynesworth he was ingratiating himself to motorists of the greater Washington, D.C. area, a lofty group. Now it appears that another young lady, a server for the W Hotel, has decided to unfairly target Haynesworth for her fifteen minutes of fame.

Now, before you start bringing up previous incidents and trying to paint a picture, you need to know that Big Al has a sensitive side. Big Al knows that waitressing is a tireless, and thankless, profession, so when the opportunity presented itself to subject a waitress to humiliating attention during what was no doubt the tail end of a grueling shift, he just couldn’t let opportunity pass him by. Ladies love attention, fellas.

Leave 20 percent and then please just leave Washington Post:

The report said Haynesworth, identified as Subject 1, tried to give the waitress his credit card and asked if he could place it in her blouse. The waitress nodded, and Haynesworth placed the card into her blouse and began caressing her breast, the report says.

While Haynesworth is not named in the report, the police department source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, confirmed that Subject 1 referred to the Redskins lineman. The report, which was filed at 5:15 a.m. Sunday, describes the suspect as a “heavy/fat/stocky” black male with a goatee, and about 6 feet 6 or 6 feet 7.

Whoah! Whoah! Let’s not jump to any conclusions here, Washington D.C. police department. I mean a 6’7″ “stocky black male driving a Maserati (guessing) could be just about anybody in this fair city.

Call me crazy but I think once the facts come out D.C’s finest will all owe Big Al an apology. Haynesworth, 1. Washington D.C. Police Department, 0.

Tagged with: Albert Haynesworth • Jabba the Hut • NFL • W Hotel • Washington Redskins

Filed under: Uncategorized • Washington Redskins

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!