The Next George Steinbrenner (AKA, “Bud Selig’s Worst Nightmare”)

By the way: have you voted for Jacquelyn yet?  Seriously, we don’t get a lot of pretty ladies in this place.  Be our wingman.  Show us some love.

“Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.”

“When I build something for somebody, I always add $50 million or $60 million onto the price. My guys come in, they say it’s going to cost $75 million. I say it’s going to cost $125 million, and I build it for $100 million. Basically, I did a lousy job. But they think I did a great job.”

“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

-Donald Trump

While lawn gnomes create ridiculous and irresponsible rumors about the Albert Pujols contract negotiations, the best story of this very, very, young baseball season is the possibility that Donald Trump may look to bail out his buddies and purchase the New York Mets.  If true, this would be the most glorious development since Mark Cuban flirted with buying the Rangers last spring.  Let’s break it down, shall we:

Trump said Tuesday that he called Fred Wilpon, the Mets’ principal owner, about two weeks ago to arrange a face-to-face meeting to discuss the potential sale of the club. The meeting has not been held, said Trump, who made it clear that he would be interested only in buying a majority stake in the team.

When George Steinbrenner passed away this past summer, there were many pundits mourning the loss of one of baseball’s most colorful, if not self-destructive characters.  I have no doubt Trump, a good friend of Big Stein’s, would go above and beyond the call of duty to replace the complete and utter ridiculousness that his late friend brought to the Bronx on a daily basis.  I can see it now:

“Omar Minaya will rue the words he said. I’ll most likely sue him for making those false statements – and it’ll be fun. Omar’s a loser. A real loser. I look forward to taking lots of money from my nice fat little Omar.”

I can’t wait.

“The Wilpons are friends of mine, and I really hope it works out great for them,” Trump said, referring to Wilpon’s desire to sell only a minority share of the club. “But if anything doesn’t work out for them, I’d be interested in the team.”

Message to the Donald: it ain’t gonna work out.  Things don’t usually “work out” when you owe someone a billion dollars.  Well, unless you’re Warren Buffet or Bill Gates.

Why he would not be interested in just a quarter of the team, Trump, referring to himself in the third person [Ed. note: YESSSS!], said, “If you look at Trump’s record, he is only interested in things he can control.“

Other things the Donald likes to control: his hairline, the maximum age of his wives, and his daughter’s bustline.  

To make the deal more palatable, the Wilpon and Katz families could be offered the chance to retain a role in the team, with Jeff Wilpon, Fred’s son, staying on in some capacity.

It’s pretty clear Jeff Wilpon isn’t qualified to do too much except be a rich kid.  Luckily, Trump has a lot of experience with these types of situations.  Nonetheless, I fully expect Jeff to be getting his bus driver’s license this summer.

According to two people with knowledge of the situation, the former Senator Alfonse M. D’Amato has encouraged Trump to pursue a stake in the Mets.

Oh, you mean this guy?  The one with all of the ethics violations?  Yeah, I’m sure that’s sound advice. 

Trump is no stranger to the sports world. He owned the New Jersey Generals of the short-lived United States Football League, has staged championship fights and created a bicycle race, the Tour de Trump. He has been mentioned from time to time as a prospective buyer of a major league baseball team, and he once sought to buy the New England Patriots.

I don’t think “Trump Field” would be enough.  I’m thinking, “Meet the Trumps, meet the Trumps, come on out and meet the Trumps!”

I have to admit: I enjoy Trump and I admire his success.  Does this make me a bad person?  Yes.  Would this be a great thing for baseball?  Absolutely.

Tagged with: Awesome • Donald Trump • George Steinbrenner • Gratuitous Use of the Third Person • MLB • You're Fired

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