Reading Between the Headlines
It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had headlines, so what did we miss? You knew I wasn’t going to write about that guy in South Florida. And don’t even think there would have been anything related to the ole’ Gunslinger, either. On to some headlines:
- A story on ESPN New York reports Joba Chamberlain may be out of a job and possibly on the trading block.
I know no one works in NYC past noon on summer Fridays, but don’t you think Andrew Marchand mailed this one in a little early? New York sports writers have to be the most unoriginal collection of “journalists” in the country. Other than this ESPN article being written as if it belonged in US Weekly, it’s based completely off of conjecture and fear-mongering, if there was such a thing in sports writing. Let’s get real: Chamberlain is 24 years old, has four pretty good pitches, throws hard, doesn’t get injured, had a sub-3.00 ERA in the playoffs last season, and has been jerked around pretty much his entire career amidst ridiculous expectations. Even with his 5.79 ERA (in only 37 innings), his K/BB ratio is 2.85 (Jonathan Papelbon is 2.6 and Carlos Marmol is 2.8). And you want to run him out of town? You’re an idiot. Stop following Lupica around and do some actual reporting.
- John Daly shot an opening round 66 to start 6 under at the British Open.
By the time you read this, there’s a good chance Daly has had a meltdown and will actually be 6 over for the
tournament, but hey, I’m rooting for him. If you have the stones to dress like this, then you have my support. Plus, he drinks diet coke and rips Marlboros like a sorority girl in between classes.
“Hey, let’s spend a boatload of money to dedicate an entire evening to collectively stroking the egos of perhaps the most ego-maniacal people in the world.” No thanks. Not even Erin Andrews could save that mess of painfully unfunny performances and horrible-looking suits.
- This year’s MLB All-Star Game received the lowest rating in history.
Big deal. Television ratings are forever skewed because people have about 300 other options of things to watch as opposed to an overly-commercialized exhibition that doesn’t mean very much. It certainly doesn’t help when you put 82 guys on the roster and the manager leaves the one with the most home runs on the bench at the end of the game, but what are you gonna do? By the way, Alex Rodriguez has 299 career stolen bases. David Ortiz has 10. Just saying…
I think at this point T.O. probably isn’t a real difference maker for any team, but it’d be great to see him on the Jets or somewhere else high profile so he could completely and utterly submarine the team’s season in front of a national audience. Personally, I think he belongs in Washington with the rest of the 2004 Pro Bowl team, but that’s just me. It’d be hilarious to watch Little Danny continue his trek into Steinbrenner-dom by bringing in T.O. to implode the team while Mike Shanahan hides in a tanning bed. Or, everyone could get along and the team would just stink as usual. That could be fun, too.
- George Steinbrenner, ship-building magnate, died at the age of 80.
It was pretty easy to hate Steinbrenner in the 80′s and 90′s, but as he got older and the team maintained a semblance of calm, it was hard not to see him as a caricature of his former blustery self. For me, the jury is still out. You can’t classify Steinbrenner as anything but an enigma: a guy with major daddy issues who was a real jerk when it came to business, but tried to rectify his extreme churlishness by being nice to sick kids and poor people.
Could the Yankees have won more in the 80′s and 90′s if King George kept quiet? Sure, but who is to say they wouldn’t have been worse if Big Stein kept the mega profits he made off the team and didn’t instill a culture of fear winning at all costs within his organization? The casual acceptance of being mediocre on the field but still being profitable off it is what has plagued teams in huge markets like the Mets, Cubs or Dodgers for years. In any case, New York won’t be the same without him.
Ok, that’s it for me. Have a great weekend. RIP Boss. You may be gone, but never forgotten.
Tagged with: All-Star Game • Big Stein • ESPYs • He's Got the Body • Joba • John Daly • Larry David • Reading Between the Headlines • Seinfeld • Stones • T.O. Little Danny
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