Ron Artest Is The Sleeper Cell

Anyone who saw the fight known as Malice at the Palace between the Pacers and Pistons in 2004 wondered what the hell was going on in Ron Artest’s head that night (as opposed to other nights). A popular theory is that he went off when a drink was thrown at him. That’s just lazy. How about an alternative theory that goes back around 15 years prior to that fateful night in Auburn Hills? Yeah you’ll bite.

The FBI released threatening letters sent to the 1989-1990 Detroit Pistons and coach Chuck Daly. Apparently fans of opposing teams weren’t impressed by the Bad Boys’ “scrappy” play.

“God made me realize that YOU, not Laimbeer, Mahorn or any of the others are the one possessed by (Satan),” the author [from Cleveland] wrote in [a] one-page handwritten letter addressed to “Mr. Chuck Daly.” Daly, a Hall of Famer who died in May at the age of 78, gave the letter to team officials, who in turn notified NBA security. The league advised the Pistons to turn it over to the FBI.

Another letter, this one typewritten and postmarked Royal Oak, Mich., on Feb. 16, 1990, also was addressed to Daly and claimed the Pistons didn’t “know the meaning of the word ‘sportsmanship’ ” and would “pay dearly.”

None of the threats were acted upon while the Pistons beat teams up like rented mules. It’s common knowledge that the melee in Detroit that resulted in record fines and suspensions. However that wasn’t the end of  it.

Detroit haters realized that unleashing Artest on Detroit players and fans was a bit too overt. They decided to take the Bad Boys down one by one. Don’t believe us? Note the following:

Isiah Thomas - Seduced by the siren-like authoritativeness of Anucha Browne Sanders. He was quickly exposed as a fraud and clueless NBA executive.

John Salley - Hosted a show with Chris Rose. (He must know what Sideshow Bob felt when he was getting rakes in the face)

Bill Laimbeer and Rick Mahorn - Coaching in the WNBA.

Fennis Dembo - Distracted long enough to not remember to change his name back to Dennis Fembo. He eventually moved back in with his mom after his career ended.

Dennis Rodman - ‘Nuff said

Chuck Daly - Passed away from pancreatic cancer last year.

There’s some bad mojo around this team. Don’t be surprised if Screwface has a role in this conspiracy.

Tagged with: Death Threats • Detroit Pistons • FBI • Marked For Death • NBA • Ron Artest • The Simpsons

Filed under: Uncategorized

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