Change I Can Poop On

I can’t believe it. Hope and change have gone out the window. Forget everything we said about enjoying the moment. I’m as speechless as John Boehner when he runs out of tobacco lobbyist money on the House floor. (Dickipedia) President Obama is supporting the Steelers in the Super Bowl.

Aw hell naw is right. In the words of the president himself, “It’s an outrage!” Supporting the Steelers doesn’t not inspire hope and change. Doesn’t Obama know that the Cardinals have Jesus on their side because Kurt Warner says so? If you say that I’m not pleased about this because I hate the Steelers, you would be correct. I am a non-purple camo pants wearing Ravens fan. However I despise them more because they played with our patron saint Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport’s emotions by constantly cutting and resigning him. That’s some cold shit right there. Dookie should be tearing it up Ybor City with Chris Berman this week. I don’t know what it’s like to root for the Cardinals. No one does except Will Leitch and Neil Lomax’s mom. Maybe David Boston. However I’m going to see how it goes on Sunday.

Here’s hoping Hines Ward or Willie Parker get caught with a mercenary hooker from Reno a day before the game. If the Cardinals win, they should present a jersey to Vice-President Biden unless Obama makes him back the Steelers too. Wait he’s from Scranton. There’s always Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano. DHS probably has a broom closet or handicapped bathroom stall they could use for the ceremony.

Stupid Ravens. Only if they still had Stoney Case or Elvis Grbac.

Filed under: Arizona Cardinals • Baltimore Ravens • Barack Obama • John Boehner • NFL • Pittsburgh Steelers • Super Bowl • Triumph The Insult Comic Dog

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