When A Kiss Just Isn't A Kiss

We all remember that beautiful moment during the 2007 Black Super Bow ... All-Star weekend in Vegas when Charles Barkley and NBA referee Dick Bavetta made sweet love down by the fire. Maybe we're exaggerating a bit but their kiss could have been the sign of something more sinister. We're not talking James Dobson sinister. We're talking Pete Rose and Tim Donaghy. "The donkey kicks twice at midnight. Take the Washington Generals tomorrow, Chuck. They're due."

Much has been written about former NBA referee Tim Donaghy's latest allegations about gambling in the NBA. The New York Times reports that former referee Hue Hollins claimed extensive inquiries were made about Bavetta.

In addition to asking questions about Donaghy, Hollins said the agents inquired extensively about Bavetta. They asked if he ever noticed that Bavetta “was making sure that the home team would win, and I told them I had no idea because I didn’t work with him a lot.”

Hollins said the agents did not ask about a specific team, game or series and did not ask about Game 6 in 2002.

“They were very specific about their questioning, as though they had heard something,” Hollins said. “They knew exactly what they were going after.”

If Hollins is telling the truth about the FBI inquiries, there could much more to Donaghy's claims than the desperation of a doomed man. There's no way to know what other information the FBI has but it seems as though the NBA and David Stern are in for heavier scrutiny and his blanket denials may not hold weight much longer. Game 6 in 2002, the ending of Game 4 of the Lakers-Spurs series this season, the Game 5 suspensions of the Suns-Spurs series last season, etc. The denials already ring hollow with fans and many in the league.

Quit Breaking Milton Bradley's Heart

He may be named after games but love ain't one to Milton Bradley. Can't the Kansas City Royals see what they're doing to him? They're breaking his heart and making him feel like half the man he used to be. He loves himself so much that it just tears him up inside seeing himself get treated this way.

Bradley went postal again after being criticized by Royals announcer Ryan Lefebvre. He charged out of the Rangers clubhouse and up four flights of stairs looking for Lefebvre after hearing himself being called out on the clubhouse television. He got within 20 feet of the Royals announcer before being led back downstairs.

The Rangers outfielder started ranting and crying once he was back in the clubhouse and had to be comforted by teammates.

"I'm tired of people bringing me down," Bradley said. "It wears on you. I love you guys, all you guys. I'm strong, but I'm not that strong. All I want to do is play baseball and make a better life for my kid than I had."

Lefebvre wasn't sure why Bradley was so pissed off.

"It was a conversation about how Josh Hamilton has turned his life around and has been accountable for his mistakes," Lefebvre told The Associated Press. "Right now, it seems like the baseball world and fans are rooting for him. ... It doesn't seem like Milton Bradley has done the same thing in his life."

"We weren't tearing up Milton Bradley. I told (Washington and Daniels) this wasn't a Milton Bradley rip session, but just based on the pictures we've seen in this series of him walking to the dugout all the way to right field, dropping his bat, making gestures to the fans in right field and above the dugout and taunting them. He's the only person in baseball I know that does that type of stuff."

It sure quacks like a Milton Bradley rip session. Lefebvre claimed it was more about praising Hamilton than bringing down Bradley. Of course he couldn't compliment Hamilton without throwing Bradley under the bus.

The only person in baseball who does that kind of stuff? Meet the Washington Nationals. Elijah and Lastings would take exception to that comment.

Can't you see Milton has feelings, girl? He feels pain too. You think he throws water bottles at crowds, fights with managers and injures himself going after umpires for the fun of it? He does it for the kids.

Lefebvre shouldn't have tried to weasel out of his statements. Leave that weak shit to Chicago's favorite douchebag. However his comments certainly don't justify Bradley losing it (again) and going after him.

What's Up With The Fackin' Food, Sully?

The City of Boston would like you to know that Red Sox fans aren't the only things that can make you sick. It turns out the food at Fenway can have the same effect without the horrible accent.

Concession stands at Fenway "flunked city health inspections on more than a dozen health and safety measurements on Red Sox opening day April 8, from storing food at unsafe temperatures to failing to clean food preparation counters".

The violations were serious enough to pose a food poisoning risk to customers. Aramark had been warned about the violations a week before opening day but did nothing to address the problems.

The concession operator's response to the city's findings was so slow that the city threatened at a municipal court hearing to shut down Fenway Park's food stands if the problems were not fixed. Ultimately, 19 home games passed, and thousands of $4 hot dogs and $6 Italian sausages passed across the counters before the Red Sox concession stands finally passed a city health inspection on May 16.

Of course Boston fans will find some way to blame this on the Italians since the sausages are Italian. If that fails, there are always the gays and the blacks.

Washington residents think they have it bad with Poplar Point? They should be glad the Yankees aren't in DC. How does $400 million more for the new Yankee Stadium sound?

Since we brought it up, here are some artist renderings of the proposed Poplar Point development.

When Mexican Standoffs Go Wrong

One would think being Mexican would give Mexican goalkeeper Oswaldo Sanchez an advantage over the Chicago police in a Mexican standoff. One would be wrong.

Sanchez was arrested at the Mexican team hotel in Chicago following Mexico's match against Peru at Soldier Field last Sunday. The police were called to the hotel following several noise complaints from hotel guests about music blasting from a player's room.

"As usually happens after the games, we couldn't sleep," he said.

Hotel security twice asked the players to turn the volume down but the noise continued and, on the third occasion, the police were called, Sanchez said.

"I went into the corridor to try to calm down the situation and ask them not to take any of my mates, but they grabbed me, sprayed tear gas at me and took me to the police station," Sanchez said.

"I went into the corridor to try to calm down the situation and ask them not to take any of my mates, but they grabbed me, sprayed tear gas at me and took me to the police station," Sanchez said.

Sanchez was released after two hours. He's required to show up for court on July 11. It's unlikely The Sanchez Chronicles will come close to The Kelly Chronicles unless someone videotaped him pissing on a cop.

Either something was lost in translation or the Chicago police don't play when it comes to noise complaints. Showing up in riot gear and throwing tear gas canisters in a closed space like a hotel hallway would definitely kill any noise.

Pops Got Hops

That's the last time Dad visits me at college.



That's more dunking than you'll ever see in the WNBA.

Harry Allen says, "Don't believe the hype".

Ex NFL'er Orlando Brown Dreams Big

Some people when they retire have dreams of being a movie star, a television analyst, a musician, or even the writer of the world's next great novel. Not Orlando Brown, he dreams bigger...and fatter. Orlando Brown is bringing the Washington DC/Baltimore area their first Fatburger franchises, 10 of them to be exact.

For those of you who haven't been out to the West Coast, Fatburger specializes in fresh, juicy, not fast food big ass burgers that are, for comparison sake, a step up from the utterly delicious In-And-Out burgers and will provide a bit of competition from the area's own Five Guys franchises.

Brown may be blind as a bat in one eye for all we know, you might remember him as the guy that was hit in the eye by an official's weighted flag and had his career ruined because of it, but the man can spot a tasty ass burger and has a dream.

“When I was hurt, I kept saying ‘When I’m done with football I’m going to need something to take that place,’” said Brown, who said he became a fan of the chain during his recuperation.

“I can afford [to get by] with the lawsuit money,” he said, “but I want to work and get my hands dirty.”

The idea of someday owning the entire chain or at least being a major player in the operations is also on Brown’s list of goals. He said he hoped to turn his South Carolina farm into a cattle ranch and Fatburger’s primary beef vendor. But for now, he said he is excited about making his mark with his first restaurant.

“At my place, the customer is always right,” Brown said. “Even if they throw the burger at you [because they don’t like it], you just go back there and cook them another one.”

Apparently that void has been filled by attempting to become a burger franchise magnate. I'm kind of excited to have a Fatburger here in the area, although truth be told, I'd rather have an In-And-Out or White Castle here. Hell, I'd even take a Sonic. While I dig the Five Guys burger, it is nice to have the variety.

The first location of his chain of burger joints is going to be in Columbia, MD and Brown has his eyes in Washington, D.C., next to Howard University Medical Center and College Park, MD near the new IKEA shopping complex with other restaurants to open in Baltimore and elsewhere in the DC/MD area.

Dream big fat man, dream big.

From Maryland Daily Record

Photo Credit: Eric Stocklin

Mike Hart Channels Drunk, Idiot Kicker

Former Michigan and current Indianapolis Colts running back Mike Hart just doesn't know when to be quiet. He should have learned his lesson when he called out Stanford head coach Jim Harbaugh for criticizing Michigan's low academic standards for athletes.

"He says we don't have great student-athletes, but he just accepted one of our transfers," Hart said. "What kind of sense does that make? Obviously, he wants guys like us at his school. I don't know how he can say that. He's not a Michigan man. I wish he'd never played here."

Just think. Michigan might have beaten Appalachian State if Harbaugh played there last season.

It turned out Harbaugh was telling the truth for the most part. The Michigan football team was all about general studies and not communications. According to Pat Forde, "only one junior ... declared a major, according to the guide (in movement science)" in 2007. "In 18 years of covering college athletics, I've never seen virtually an entire junior class without a major."

Now Hart's gone and done it again. The sixth round pick is claiming that the NFL isn't as hard as he thought it would be.

"It's a little different," Hart said Saturday at Randy Wise Chevrolet in Flint, where he signed autographs. "The only surprise is it's not as tough as I thought it was going to be, as far as practice and those type of things," he said. "It's more laid back."

Hart was selected in the sixth round of the April draft by the Indianapolis Colts. He said: "Indianapolis is a different organization. You watch 'Hard Knocks' on HBO and you expect to be hazed and a lot of those things, but the Colts are a lot different. It's not as bad as I thought -- we don't get taped, we don't get hazed with the Colts."

Hopefully Hart thinks OTAs are similar to training camp. The coaches and veterans must love hearing him say practice isn't that hard or that he's not getting hazed. It'll be interesting to see if he thinks the same way when he's duct taped to a bed while getting teabagged by a camel during training camp. Then again we probably have it wrong. Tony Dungy probably has his players read his book and go out on the town to haze gays while Marvin Harrison shoots off his guns like a Palestinian prisoner release celebration.

The game of chess is like a swordfight. You must think first before you move. Welcome to WuChess. I'd give anything to take on Big Baby Jesus. Instead, I'll have to settle for Cappadonna.

Manny Acta And Elijah Dukes Dont See Eye To Eye

Here's the footage of Manny Acta and Elijah Dukes going at it in the dugout after Lastings Milledge hit a homer to give the Nationals the league. Needless to say, they are not happy with each other for some reason.

What is going on here? Was it the celebration after the home run that has the normally mild mannered Acta on tilt? Dukes, never one to back down from a challenge, didn't take his dugout dressing down by the manager well, yelling back at the skipper and refusing to high five him after the game.

Does anyone else smell a suspension coming? What happened here? Is this the alarm ringing on the ticking time bomb that is Elijah Dukes or just a young man not willing to back down when his coach goes after him. I wonder what set Acta off that bad?

We Were All On Vacation!

Have you noticed an increasing nervousness over the past week? A feeling of impending doom that you couldn't place? Don't feel bad. You were just channeling Austrian terror. Ze Germans are back!

The last time the Germans went on holiday in Europe en masse, they took the Sudetenland and a world war started. This time, they were not so lucky. Over 200 Germans were arrested on Sunday following Germany's 2-0 win over Poland in Euro 2008.

Many of the fans were chanting "Seig Heil" and other Nazi slogans. "Only about a dozen of those arrested were not German". Israel has to be glad it didn't qualify for the finals.

It's good to see the Austrians step up this time as opposed to running and singing in the mountains or just giving up like the French. The Deuce is all about the cheap WWII joke. We'd say we'd be here all week but we can't even promise that.

The New Old Hotness? Pushball!

Now that roller derby and kickball and bocce ball (yes bocce ball, that might have to be another post) have turned into this generation's new urban hipster type games, some more hip than others...*cough**ahem*kickball sucks*cough*, is it time to revive some more old hotness? I say yes, and thus, let us usher in the new age of Pushball! What is it? Check it out below.

Sure you say it looks fun. Bunch of guys on a field, big giant ball, how can that not be fun? So how do you play? Well its pretty easy, at least so says this Wikipeida article on it:

Pushball is a game played by two sides on a field usually 140 yd (128 m) long and 50 yd (45.7 m) wide, with a ball 6 ft (1.83 m) in diameter and 50 lb (22.7 kg) in weight. The sides usually number eleven each, there being five forwards, two left-wings, two right-wings and two goal-keepers. The goals consist of two upright posts 18 ft (5.5 m) high and 20 ft (6.1 m) apart with a crossbar 7 ft. from the ground. The game lasts for two periods with an intermission. Pushing the ball under the bar counts 5 points; lifting or throwing it over the bar counts 8. A touchdown behind goal for safety counts 2 to the attacking side.

How bout that? I want me some of this action, lord knows this would be infinently cooler than kickball and bocce ball combined, but I think I might need some live action video just to get an idea what Modern Pushball is like. Oh...well look what we have here:

Yea this sport rocks. Someone needs to set up a Pushball League here in DC for me and in NYC for Mustafa. My pushball skillz need to be showcased!

Image from Shorpy

Darryl Strawberry Teachin Them Kids Right

I couldn't think of a better place for a former all-star cokehead than teaching young baseball players how to be professional ball players. Darryl Strawberry is a roving instructor for the New York Mets organization, a job given to him by Mets VP and GM Omar Minaya where Straw will visit the affiliates from the rookie leagues to Class AAA.

Last weekend, Strawberry was at the single A Savannah Sand Gnats complex giving all sorts of advice to their young hitters, something he wishes he had when he was coming up to the majors:

"We didn't have that when I came up. You had to learn the hard way. You had to learn the hard knocks of life. It's life. It's a journey. It's the same thing for these younger guys.

"I try to explain to them about the life of playing professional sports, the temptations and the people. You've got to be extremely careful about who you deal with."

Certainly these kids are going to listen to this guy when he tells them how to get to the majors and what not to do to stay there. Straw had a world of talent and he could have been a hall of fame player were it not for his addictions, for him to talk to the kids in the Mets single A team is like the baseball equivalent of Scared Straight to these kids.

"Do you wake up in the morning and feel like you have to kill somebody??"

I have to think besides teaching the normal hitting, fielding, time management and psychological aspects of the game of baseball, Darryl is also telling the kids some other fine points about managing life in the big leagues such as:

- How to have a ho' in every visiting town

- How to not get said ho' pregnant

- How to keep said ho' quiet about her ho'ing around with you

- How to do a proper line of blow off said ho's ass

- How not to mix the uppers with the downers

Well you get the point...oh yea, and if you don't remember scared straight, here's some bonus footage for ya.

From Savannah Morning News/Savannah Now
Photo by Richard Drew / AP

Jose Guillen Reminds Me Of Somone

Is it me or is Jose Guillen starting to look a little like a combination of these two guys nowadays?

Could just be me...

Maybe not

Constitutional Vol. "Lets Link It Up"

Its been awhile for the links since I've been in and out of here, so lets throw up a bunch of stuff that's been sittin around the ole inbox for the past couple weeks. Welcome to the Constitutional:

• I was agreeing with this story up until the point where she actually chose a team to root for...I on the other hand want both the Celtics and Lakers to lose. Idle Chatter
  


• The press isn't thinking highly of the DellMichael Curry hire. Mlive.com
  


• Here's the Ken Griffey Jr. home run video. I'm Writing Sports
  


• How to grade your female prospects like MLB does it's player prospects...playa. Rumors and Rants
  


• We apparently are still in the running to be Deadspin's new editor in chief. Hugging Harold Reynolds
  


• Even though no one is giving us any odds at all at the chance. For shame. AOL Fanhouse
  


• Why isn't Jeff Van Gundy getting any looks at head coaching gigs? Stet Sports
  


• Get your Brooks Robinson and Eddie Murray drank on! Mr. Irrelevant
  


• Baseball has plenty of drug problems with Ritalin and Adderall. Newsweek
  


• Here's a breakdown of the 10 worst sports broadcasters. Maxim
  


• The Sporting News is making another attempt at remaining a viable business. Can't Stop the Bleeding
  


• The Dutch just handled Italy...absolutely handled them. The Beautiful Game
  

An Aside

Yea, we haven't been as prolific as we normally are lately. Its all my fault, I just moved in with the fiance last weekend and I'm still figuring out how to blog while still going to bed at a reasonable hour. This is new for me, I normally do my best work between 1am and 4am but the lady doesn't much like the pitter patter of blogging all night in our 1br apartment, so I'm adjusting a bit here. Until I figure it out, our posting might be a bit sporadic, but we are not going anywhere, dont you worry. This ends your public service announcement.