Finally Someone Who Won't Fight Back

Very Big Club Newcastle United has fallen on hard times over the past couple years after finding domestic and European glory. Winning the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup in 1969 is a massive achievement. Have you won it? I didn't think so.

Despite the lack of success on the pitch, Newcastle claims to have fans that will see the club through thick and thin. St. James Park is always filled to its 50,000+ capacity for every match by loyal and... What's that? They give tickets away? Of course they do. All teams have corporate and family seats. What do you mean they're not exactly corporate or family seats?

The BBC reports that Newcastle distributes four season tickets a year to recovering drug addicts as a way to "help them on the path to recovery".

"The tickets are provided on the understanding that they are used, as part of a package of measures, to particularly help young people who have had substance misuse problems, and are making clear progress and showing a genuine commitment to living a normal, structured life.

"We thank the club for this generous gesture that goes a long way towards re-introducing people to a structured way of life."

It's not clear how going to a Newcastle match would help addicts adapt to living a sober life. Have you ever been to Newcastle? There's nothing to do but drink and use drugs. Have you ever watched Newcastle play? It'll make you want to drink and do drugs. Even when they're not playing, they're not setting a good example: