Have Yourself An NFL Christmas

For the devoted NFL fan, the holidays present a difficult time where you are supposed to take down all the beautiful fatheads, posters of the players you idolize, the starting lineup action figures, the jerseys, etc…and put up holiday decorations dedicated to some fat guy in a red suit who is the coach of a team of elves. Its difficult. Well, we at the Deuce have you covered. We’re going to show you how to decorate your house for Christmas…NFL style.

No one ever said the NFL did not do everything in its power to make a buck…and we’re here to show you that Christmas isn’t really about baby Jesus or crass commercialism, its just another way to show your NFL fandom.

First off, you need a stocking on the fireplace, hung with care of course. Luckily, the NFL has branded some for you!
Look at that, they have even stuck that fat red guy on the stocking, like he is a part of your favorite team. That’s just fantastic. If you want a more traditional look for your stocking, you can get it in team colors with no fat red guy on top, like this:

Ok, now that we have stockings covered, we must move to the tree. You’ve got this big dead tree sitting in your residence that is covered by lights and nick knacks that mean nothing to you whatsoever. The only thing that means anything to you is your NFL team, right? Well you are in luck…the NFL has branded some for you!

Wow, nothing says Christmas more than having an NFL team helmet, logo, fat guy in an NFL branded outfit, or nutcrackers with NFL branded hats adorning a tree. But this tree would be dark if it did not have lights on it. Wouldn’t you know it? The NFL has branded some for you!
Oh, and if you have a tree in your house, well you must put a skirt around it to collect those falling needles. Guess what, the NFL has branded some for you!

Excellent! Isn’t that attractive? So you’ve got the tree covered. What are you supposed to wear to get into that holiday spirit? Surely the NFL has something for us here? Well if you want your own hat just like the fat guy, the NFL has branded some for you!

But what about the rest of the house? Mama says, nothing says holidays like cracking some nuts…and no one knows more about cracking nuts than the NFL. So it only makes sense that for the holiday season there would be a nutcracker with some NFL logos on them…and we’re in luck. THE NFL HAS BRANDED SOME FOR YOU!

That is the single most intense looking nutcracker ever. He must be feeling the NFL Christmas spirit more than anyone. Lets say you want something a little more modern though. Well, you are totally in luck. Say you want a snowman, but you cannot have just a normal snowman, you need an NFL snow man. BINGO! The NFL has branded some for you!

Now that the inside of your house is covered in wonderful NFL branded Christmas trinkets, you have to add a finishing touch on the door in the form of a wreath. LUCKILY…the NFL has branded some for you!
Don’t those look delightful. Everyone will feel the love with those wreaths. Nothing like a screaming bear or a sour face pirate to welcome in the holidays. However, if a wreath isn’t enough for the outside of your house, you might want to think about some sort of lawn ornament. If only the NFL had something for us…oh wait…the NFL has branded some for us!
Don’t those just say Merry Christmas? Whew…its good to know that the NFL has Christmas decorating covered.

Filed under: Christmas • Decorations • Evil • NFL • Ornaments • Santa Claus

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