Never Mind The Bollocks

Here are a few thoughts for the week. If you’re thinking of dressing up in lingerie and having pictures taken of yourself, don’t. If you’re thinking of sending naked pictures of yourself to a teenager in hope of getting a shag, don’t.

Oscar de la Hoya and Portsmouth/England striker David Nugent should set up a think tank. Nugent, 22, sent a picture of his sack to a 19 year old shop worker in hopes of getting her in the sack after she refused to return his calls. The mobile picture worked and they’ve been together ever since.

Oh that’s right. It didn’t work. She forwarded the picture to all her friends in Preston where he used to play.

“I couldn’t believe it when I saw a picture of Nugent’s knob, I nearly collapsed laughing…There are a lot of Preston fans who are still cheesed off about him leaving — so this is payback. He must be nuts to send a picture like that to someone he’s just met.”

“She didn’t really want to know but he kept texting her — then the full-frontal arrived on her mobile. She couldn’t believe it. She was horrified … He’s not exactly massive in that department, so God only knows what he thought he was going to achieve.”

Smooth, playboy. Real smooth.

Filed under: David Nugent • England • Portsmouth • Sex Pistols • Soccer • Think Tank • dumbass

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