Baseball In Full Swing!

Spring Training is just starting but baseball is kicking off the season with a ton news and “news” for the season.

- Griffey admits he broke his hand playing with kids. This is great news, because the Deuce thought he was actually starting to actually like being on the DL and injuring himself on purpose like a Vietnam war draft-dodger so he wouldn’t ever have to play again. We will say it again, guaranteed money has NOT HURT THE GAME!

- A-Rod and Jeter really do not like each other…A-rod says so. A-rod seems upset that Jeter no longer sleeps over at his place most nights out of the week. “You go from sleeping over at somebody’s house five days a week, and now you don’t sleep over.” Just…a…little…weird… Anyway, the real story, not reported though, is the whole feud started is because Jeter was creeped out when during the last sleep-over A-rod offered him some “Jesus Juice” while they were watching gladiator movies.- Steinbrenner’s successor was arrested for DUI over the weekend. He is married to Steinbrenner’s daughter…if she is anything like her father, you can probably cut him some slack.

- New Rule Changes for MLB were just announced. Among the ones the Deuce found most interesting:

• Players caught scuffing or defacing a baseball would be ejected and get an automatic 10-game suspension. Little late to the party on this one? This is one of those, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it rules. Baseball has been fine with pitchers cheating and umps letting them cheat for over a hundred years. Give the umps a little discretion please!
• In a rule that makes no sense whatsoever, a player may no longer step into a dugout to catch a foul ball but is allowed to reach into a dugout. Once the greatest measure of how bad a player “wants it!” now, taken away by the front office pansies.
• A batter cannot run to first on a dropped third strike if he leaves the dirt circle around home plate unless he does so while trying to reach first base. This is no fun at all, one of the funniest things in baseball is a player who, while walking towards his own dugout, realizes the catcher didn’t catch the ball and then start running towards 1st base. Shame, this Baseball folly footage will no longer be created.
• With no runners on, a pitcher will be required to pitch within 12 seconds, the timing starting when the pitcher is in possession of the ball and the batter is in the batter’s box, alert to the pitcher. Who is timing this exactly? Is baseball now going to get a 12 second clock like basketball’s 24 sec or football’s 35 sec one?
• Pitchers may wear a multicolored glove if the umpire determines it isn’t distracting…now umpires are allowed to be fashion consultants. Why not get Heidi Klum out there when a pitcher takes the mound to inspect the glove. She can say “AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!!” to any glove deemed not worthy.

- Interesting paper written on the tradeoff between Home Run rate and Contact rate. Nothing funny here, just good, sound, math.

- Not to leave my hometown Nationals out of this piece, Cristian Guzman thinks he can do much better than he’s done the past two seasons. That shouldn’t be hard to do considering he didn’t play at all last year and batted a mighty .219 the previous season. I think he should try playing drunk, always helped me out in co-ed rec league softball. Also, we’ve signed many a retread for our open pitching auditions and back-up fielding positions. Amazingly, Ryan Zimmerman thinks the Nationals can be at least as good as last year. You’ve got to love youthful optimism but come on, this kid ain’t too smart for going to the University of Virginia. In any case, GO NATS!

Ain’t baseball grand?

Filed under: A-Rod • Baseball • Griffey • Jeter • MLB • Nationals • Rules Change • Spring Training • Steinbrenner • Washington DC • Yankees

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